Strap in, kiddos: this is a long one. There is a subset of people that both fascinate and disgust me at the same time. No, I’m not talking about clowns or contortionists—I’m talking about people who jump right to the end. Folks that, when picking up a new book, flip to the last chapter to see how it all pans out. Weirdos that begin a TV series on Netflix by peaking at the final episode. Lunatics that YouTube ending cutscenes before jumping into the tutorial level. Geniuses that begin with the end in mind and steer the ship accordingly. There’s something beautiful about endings, the way that things—while perhaps not resolved—are brought to a form of closure. Endings can be exciting and romantic as the hero rides into the sunset. Endings can be tragic as the hero is beheaded in front of his downtrodden men (bonus points for getting the reference). One thing can be agreed upon: endings are necessary. Stories with too much middle are seen as bloated messes. Stories with too much beginning are chided for a failure to launch. That’s why, when facing something as beginning-centric as January 1, 2019, I took pause. I thought it was possible that I might be missing the point just a bit. I’ve focused on beginnings for much of my life. Last year, I wrote a post centered around beginnings. It’s actually a little sad… I wrote about three goals I had for 2018, and reading back now I’m both amazed and disappointed. I fell far, far short on my goals of reading 50 books and delivering 50 substantial posts. Not unlike many people I had very little motivation to pursue reading through the year, and the turmoil and stress surrounding my divorce kept me from even thinking about trying to keep a healthy posting life. But my third goal—losing fifty pounds by the end of the year—was realized. I began the year like a lot of would-be dieters do: with a crash diet and a gym membership. I spent two weeks eating nothing by cold potatoes, and it was Hell. Don’t get me wrong, I made them tasty, but I couldn’t eat a potato for a couple of months after. I went to the gym with my ex-wife a couple of nights a week. However, the few pounds that I lost were quickly re-acquired. The crash diet, well, crashed. Workout time with my ex quickly because an exercise in the futitilty of herding cats into a bathtub while suffering from a dander allergy. So by the time summer rolled around—when stress eating over my failing marriage reached an all-time high—I had actually gained weight. I committed to going to a new gym and slowed down my snacking, but there wasn’t much change until September. In September I made a new friend who introduced me to something that has changed my life in a few ways: eating Paleo. The idea was simple enough. I just needed to cut wheat, sugar, dairy, and processed foods out of my diet. After a week or so, she began to diet with me (which is key, folks. Doing this stuff on your own blows!) and by that point I was locked in. After a month, I began noticing dramatic changes in my health. I was sleeping through the night, waking up rested and refreshed, my bathroom time became easier and more regular, my acid reflux—something I’d been dealing with for 18 years—was gone. And, by the end of the year, I had gone from 234lbs to 183lbs, a weight I hadn’t seen since high school. All of this has led to this thought: life-change isn’t always about beginnings. Sometimes it’s about endings. We can’t begin one season of our lives without ending the previous. Giving life to a new journey sometimes means putting our old lives to death first.
Take Paleo for example. It’s not about what you begin to eat, it’s about what you stop eating. Stop consuming processed sugars. Stop consuming corn and corn byproducts. Stop consuming wheat. Cut dairy out. If you can manage to put these items to death in your life, you’ve officially begun eating Paleo—not because of what you’ve begun putting into your body but what you’ve stopped putting into it. I greeted 2018 wanting to begin a mountain of things, but what if I approached it backwards? That’s what I’m doing this year. My 2019 is all about putting things to death that needed to go long ago. One of those things is wasting time. I wanted to read 50 books last year, and I barely got through 10. I wasted an extraordinary amount of time doing absolutely nothing, and I want to working on ending that nasty habit. Another wasting money. There are expenses I can’t help making, but I’ve let my budget get out of hand more times that I can count. That ends this year. The third ending that I look forward to this year is unhealthy eating habits. At my lowest, I’m a voracious stress eater. At my normal, I’ve got a sweet tooth the size of a Texas sheet cake. So, here are my three big goals this year that are based around endings, not beginnings. Read More Books Last year I got through ten books. Just ten, against a goal of nearly a book a week. This year, I simply want to read more than last year by virtue of wasting less time. I already get up early to work out in the mornings, so adding in time to read isn’t that far of a stretch. Spend Less Money While I’m not the impulse shopper I was in the past, in 2018 I spent a ridiculous amount of money on food and entertainment. This year, I simply want to spend less. Through tighter budgeting and an honest examination of my old spending habits I want to come out of 2019 with a better handle on my finances. Engage In Whole30 I’ve been fascinated with Whole30 ever since beginning Paleo in September. It’s a method for detoxing and examining the effects of various foods on your body that has you cutting certain foods for 30 days. It’s quite close to Paleo, but there are some distinct differences that I’m interested in. Run a 5K This one is more of an honorable mention. I always made fun of people who enjoyed running, until I began running myself. I quickly realized that a good run is exactly what I need to clear my head, center myself, and connect with God in an interesting way. However, just running for the sake of running each day is boring, so instead my morning runs will be training for something bigger. How about y’all? What are some old habits that need to be put to death so that others can be born? Let me know in the comments! Sincerely, Chaz
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11/3/2022 12:24:25 am
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